I appreciate Rev. Dean Lueking taking time to respond to the questions I asked him and also his generosity in attributing a sincere and right spirit to me [Mildenhall asks big questions, in the right spirit, Viewpoints, Aug. 23].

Rev. Lueking, your answers were interesting, and I enjoyed your story about the sick person. One thing you wrote was: "My hope is that [Helen] ... won't quit too soon on life's most important inquiry. Nor go it alone."

If you have time to continue this dialog, I'd be interested to read your thoughts about how I might carry out this inquiry in a faith community, in a way that is practical and productive.

Would church worship services help me with this inquiry? In my experience, these are wonderful for people who have faith and love to express that faith back to God in worship. I expect they are also helpfully informative for those who know little about the faith and want to know more. For me, they became awkward and uncomfortable once I was unable to sing the songs and say the statements of faith without feeling dishonest. And they were not informative for me because I was already familiar with the beliefs upon which the words were based.

How about small group Bible studies? My experience was that these are helpful to those same people who enjoy worship services or find them informative. My own sense was that it would be inappropriate to raise my doubts and questions in those groups-it would have subverted the purpose of them. My issues would have been an off-topic distraction. And it seemed likely to me that they would have discouraged rather than encouraged other group members in their faith, which was something I had no desire to do.

Could one-on-one dialog with people of faith be helpful? By now I've had several conversations with such people about my own problems with faith. These are often emotionally taxing because I find believers tend to jump to conclusions about me. When I say, "I've already been there and tried that and it didn't help," that is often interpreted as "I've turned my back on God and am not open to inquiry."

This tendency of believers to make assumptions about me rather than listen has caused me to be somewhat wary of entering into further one-on-one dialog with them.

On the other hand, Rev. Lueking, you have listened carefully and have heard where my heart is. Thank you. I hope you have time to respond between your extensive upcoming travels.

Helen Mildenhall
Oak Park