In reading these pages in recent weeks, I must admit a slight disorientation. I've read so much about the Democratic primary that I thought I was reading the Washington Post or The New York Times.

If I hear or read one more time that Hillary Clinton is really smart and has dedicated her life to helping others, I will scream. That description fits about half the women in Oak Park. Ms. Clinton was the presumptive nominee because quite simply she is the most famous cuckquean in American history. (The term "cuckold" is exclusively used for a male whose wife takes other partners; a woman whose husband strays in such fashion is known as a "cuckquean." You're welcome.)

But as they say, all politics is local, so now we need to turn our attention to the village we all know and love. You will recall that less than a year ago, the Restoration began. The angry insurgent group with a civic sounding name was roundly defeated by the good government/good business group with a civic sounding name. A great sigh of relief was issue across the land.

So how are they doing? It's early, but there are encouraging signs. Things are definitely more affable. The board members have stopped calling each other and village staff names, and most of their meetings are over by 11 p.m. So that's good. Hard to get much done if you hate each other. The unclogged Marion Street looks pretty good and business is up there, I'm told.

Also, there are apparently still some rich people who want to develop downtown. More condos. That's the ticket. Finally, our leaders made some cuts in the budget that are more than cosmetic for the first time in a long time. This was painful, but clear evidence that the residents' high tax complaints have been heard.

But there is clearly room for improvement. First and foremost, when is Trader Joe's opening? We need a countdown clock on the village website. For many of us, there is nothing more important than getting a Trader Joe's. Getting out of Iraq. Universal health care. Closing the achievement gap. Sure. But first things first. In fact, if we don't have a Trader's Joe's by the next election, I'm going to form the Trader Joe's Party. We will be easily elected. We'll get a Trader Joe's. Then we'll quit. Mission accomplished.

The board also needs to look at certain rundown properties starting with that house where someone began building an underground basketball court on the 600 block of North Kenilworth. This project has taken longer than the Pyramids. The two lots there look like Dresden after the WWII bombing. Those poor neighbors have had to look at a construction site for years. Finish the damn thing. I just don't understand how someone gets a permit to dig a Panama Canal-size hole on his property, but my son Chris can't extend his back porch three feet.

Then there's the sidewalk snow shoveling. Great idea to fine those inconsiderate slobs who don't shovel their walks. But I now read that the village isn't really serious about its new law, and is relying on citizen complaints rather than village enforcement. Should have said that from the beginning. At least the village should have a link (call it tattletale.com) where such complaining could be done. Trust me on this: There's not a block in Oak Park that doesn't have at least one icy sidewalk. Unless you're Dorothy Hamill, you're either forced to drive or risk broken bones to go anywhere in town. Something's got to be done!

Finally, on the subject of commercial development. We got lots of condos, restaurants galore, coffee everywhere, doggie treat stores, knick-knack decorative debris stores, banks, drug stores, artist warrens, but try and buy, as I did recently, a white long-sleeve, button-down collar dress shirt. Not happening. You can cross the border to the Sears store at North and Harlem and buy one. You can break into a laundry in Oak Park and steal one. You can ask your neighbor to borrow one. But you can't buy one. Weird.

I have a dream that some day, wearing my awesome new white long-sleeve, button-down shirt bought in good old Oak Park, I will be able to walk on non-lethal sidewalks to a beautiful new shiny Trader Joe's.

I have a dream.